Journalism Fellowships in Child and Family Policy

The school that stopped bullies
Pushing, shoving, taunting - they can damage a child forever. There's a way to fight back.

By Rob Waters
Reprinted with permission of Reader's Digest

January 2003 - When Zak Hollis was 10 and a fourth-grader in Albuquerque, N.M., other kids would walk up to him, jerk their heads around, and laugh. They’d call him “dork” and “retard” and, when he complained to teachers, “tattletale.” Some teachers, he says, would even tell him to stop tattling.

“The kids would tease me and mimic me. They made fun of me every day,” Zak says, now 12. “I wouldn’t cry at school, but I would at home. I hated that school. I felt so stressed-out there; I felt sick all the time.”

Zak is large and soft-spoken, and because of a neurological disorder, he sometimes jerks his head and body. Being different from other children made him a target, but bullying isn’t a problem only kids with neurological problems or special needs experience.

Every year, millions of American children are victimized by bullies at school. A survey of 15,000 sixth- to tenth-graders published in the Journal of the American Medical Association in 2001 found that 30 percent were involved in bullying – as perpetrators, victims or both. Nearly half of sixth-graders reported being bullied, and 13 percent said they were bullied at least once a week.

But children don’t have to live with humiliation and fear. Three years ago, Zak Hollis transferred to Chelwood Elementary, also in Albuquerque, and he found a haven from teasing and unhappiness in a place where the whole school community – students, teachers and parents – have become part of the effort to deal with bullying. As studies begin to tie childhood taunts and punches to emotional troubles later in life, schools like Chelwood have decided to draw the line.

Littleton, Col.; Jonesboro, Ark.; Santee, Calif. – these towns are now synonymous with the most frightening outcome of bullying. A government report released in 2000 looked at 41 children who shot fellow students and found that two-thirds felt they had been “persecuted, bullied, threatened, attacked or injured” prior to the incident. In Jonesboro, the attackers were described as bullies.

Equally tragic and more common are kids who turn the anguish violently inward, taking their own lives. In one case, Hamed Nastoh, 14, left a suicide note for his parents before jumping off a bridge to his death in British Columbia in 2000. In the note, Hamed wrote that school was “horrible. Everyone calling me gay, fag, queer, and I would always act like it didn’t bug me and ignore them, but I was crying inside.”
But most kids who are bullied don’t shoot up their schools or take their own lives. Experts say that children who are victimized by bullies are more likely than other kids to be lonely, depressed, anxious and angry. In a study from 2001, Australian researchers followed 2,680 13-year-olds for two school years and found that bullying pushed well-adjusted kids into depression and anxiety.

“When kids are picked on throughout elementary school, they’re struggling by the time they get to middle school,” says Laurie Austin, who is the former violence-prevention coordinator for the Albuquerque schools. “School becomes a place of anger and victimization.”

The young victims of bullies often turn into depressed adults, says Dan Olweus, a Norwegian psychologist who pioneered research on bullying. The bullies run into problems too. One study by Olweus found that 60 percent of kids who were defined as such in Norwegian and Swedish middle schools had criminal records by the time they were 24. The news is no better in the United States. A long-term study of 856 eight-year-olds in New York State found that one in four of the most aggressive kids had an arrest record by the age of 30; just one in 20 nonaggressive children did.

The grim statistics for victims and bullies prompted Olweus to develop the program that has now been copied in schools around the world – including Chelwood. He based it on the idea that bullies are a small minority who gain power over other children only because they are allowed to.

Jack Vermillion, Chelwood’s principal when the program was implemented, puts it this way: “In most schools, around 10 percent of kids act as bullies and another 15 percent play the victim,” he says. “The other 75 percent just want to stay out of it so they don’t get picked on. Our philosophy is you get that 75 percent who are not being bullied standing up with the 15 percent who are. Now you’ve got 90 percent against 10 percent saying, ‘No, you’re not going to do that at our school.’ ”

Starting in kindergarten, the school trains children who are being bothered by another child to ask that child to stop and then, if necessary, to get help from an adult. (Many victims never utter the words “Stop it.”) Kids who see an incident are urged to help out – again, by asking the bully to stop and getting adult help if needed. Says Vermillion: “We’re trying to get kids to become people who stand up and get involved.” Teachers and students alike are encouraged to identify and monitor bullying hot spots – a corner of the playground or the lunchroom, for instance – and regular class meetings are held to discuss any incidents.

This commonsense approach has been uncommonly effective. In elementary and middle schools in Norway, such programs led to a 50 percent drop in bullying, as well as lower rates of vandalism, fighting and truancy, according to the studies conducted by Olweus. Middle schools in South Carolina with a similar policy also experienced a marked decline in bullying, delinquency and vandalism.

At Chelwood, the staff has also enlisted deputies. Most fourth-graders are trained as mediators, and about three-quarters of the class goes on to volunteer on the playground. One bright afternoon, Erica and Tara are on patrol, clad in the uniform of peer mediators – red tunics over their shirts, clipboards clutched in their hands. Things are peaceful, so they pause for a moment to explain their jobs. “A mediator is where you walk around the playground and you look for problems,” Erica explains. “If there is a problem, you just discuss it with them and see if they can figure it out.”

On mediation duty a few weeks earlier, Tara came across a boy and girl fighting over a ball. “They were hitting each other,” she says. “I just told them to take turns with the ball and to solve the problem.”

Conversations like this are common at Chelwood, where students being the day by reciting this pledge:

We will not bully other students.
We will help others who are being bullied by speaking out and by getting adult help.
We will use extra effort to include all students in activities at our school.

Students seem to be honoring their words. Three years ago, Vermillion had to deal with 30 to 40 fights that broke out on the playground or in the lunchroom. The next year – the first year of the bully-proofing program – it was down to eight or nine. And last year, the 2001-02 school year, Vermillion says, there were only two fights.

Some school districts and states have adopted a tougher approach. Georgia, for instance, implemented a three-strikes-you’re-out policy requiring that middle school and high school students who commit just three physical bullying offenses be removed and then sent to an alternative school. This legislation was passed in the aftermath of a 13-year-old boy being punched and killed by one of his classmates in 1998.

Vermillion wanted to ensure that kids who bully are confronted for their behavior, but not ostracized from the school community. “I try to keep an eye on those kids, redirect them, and find the positive things they’re doing and praise them for it,” he says. he even gave some kids who have bullied extra responsibilities for helping other children.

The ultimate goal of the program is not merely to stop bad behavior, but to create a “caring community” where kids treat each other with compassion.

On the playground at Chelwood Elementary, Ryan, a tall 10-year-old with wiry blond hair, recalls chasing down a boy who had taken a football away from him and his friends. The boy was on the ground and Ryan was hitting him. Then, Ryan says, “I saw his face and he looked sad. I told myself I wouldn’t like it if someone did that to me. I said I was sorry and he said sorry back. And we started playing football together.”

Don’t be a victim
Parents can help kids deal with bullies

This advice comes from child psychologist Carla Garrity, who, with help from colleagues at the Cherry Creek, Col., school district, developed the program in use at Chelwood.

Listen to your child. If your daughter says she’s getting picked on, believe her. Let her know you’re concerned. Ask questions to assess whether this is transient or minor. Has she asked the child to stop? Has she told a teacher?

Be ready to act. Go to school and talk to a staff member about the situation if the bullying is serious or continues. But don’t call the bully’s parents, since this rarely helps. Parents tend to defend their own children. Start with the teacher, but be prepared to go to the counselor or administrator.

Get an assistant. A friend or two who will look out for your child can make a big difference. If he has trouble getting help on his own, ask a teacher or counselor to recruit help from other kids. A friend can accompany a passive kid who is prone to being victimized when he goes to the bathroom or during recess.

Stay on top of things. Keep talking with your child and the school about how things are going. If necessary, try to meet with the principal and teacher regularly. If the school fails to respond or help, you may need to consider changing schools.

For materials to start a bully-proofing program at your school, look for Garrity’s book, available at sopriswest.com or the Olweus Bullying Prevention program at
www.modelprograms.samhsa.gov/.
R.W.

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